


not how but why

by AnnabelleRowan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, Funny, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 10:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1004309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnabelleRowan/pseuds/AnnabelleRowan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has a question, and Cas is the answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not how but why

**Author's Note:**

> A while back I wrote "not why but how" so.. I think this will be my Haystacks - Dean and Cas kissing for all possible and impossible reasons, and in all possible and impossible situations.

Dean is in the hotel room, sitting on the bed. Sam is on the laptop, researching something for the case. And Dean just can’t anymore. He feels as if his head will explode if he doesn’t get it out. And Sam here is his brother, and at the same time it makes it both very weird, but also perfect.

“IthinkImaybelovedudes.”

Sam didn’t expect any noise so he jumps in his chair a little.

“Sorry, what?” he asks.

Dean can’t look him in the eyes, so he’s memorising the pattern on his socks while he says in a very low voice

“I think I… oh, hell, I don’t even know. I think I have a thing for dudes. Fuck. There.”

And Sam looks like a frozen computer screen while he’s trying to process the information.

Dean looks up, and he needs Sam to say something. Anything. “No way Dean!” or “It’s a curse!” (Dean knows it isn’t, he tried that one a long time ago, also how would a curse work in Purgatory?) or “Of course, you were a little fagot your whole life” (ok, maybe not that) or “That’s great, here, have a rainbow” (What?!)

But Sam is better than all that.

Sammy just says “Okay.”

And Dean goes ballistic after it.

“Okay? It’s not ok! I mean it’s ok, but.. you know..goddamnit!”

Apparently Sam has to come up with something better than just love and acceptance.

“Um.. well, don’t punch me or anything, but have you ever actually.. I don’t know.. kissed a dude?”

Dean freezes. Then his face goes red.

“NO!” he explodes.

“Okay, okay, I said don’t punch me, I’m just asking!” Sam holds his hands in the air, palms open towards Dean.

“Here, listen. You never actually tried it.” Sam looks like he can’t believe he’s having this conversation. “Maybe.. maybe you’re just curious.”

Dean thinks about it and gets on his feet. He puts Cas aside, focusing completely on his new “just gay/bi” not “angel” sexuality. If somebody told him he would be saying what he’s about to say he would have punch him. Hard.

“I have to kiss a dude.”

Sam is on his feet too. He looks mortified.

“Um, as much as I can imagine it would make Becky happy, don’t count me in.” he says.

“What.. Sam! No! Hell no Sam!” Dean is the one looking mortified now.

“Ok, I just wanted to clear that.”

And that is, of course, the moment when Cas decides to pop in.

Sam is just looking at Dean. Dean looks at Cas for a second then turns back to Sam.

He shakes his head. “No. Dude, no.”

But this is actually what he wanted the whole time. Fuck.

“Dean you can’t just go out and grab some poor thing on the street. You know Cas already and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind it.”

Cas is still in the middle of the room looking extremely confused.

“Um, Dean..” he starts and that’s what wakes Dean from his trance.

He turns to Cas and walks up directly to him.

“I need to test something Cas. It will only take a second.”

Cas is looking at him, still confused, but he trusts Dean. He trusted Dean always and with everything, so why would this little test be an exception?

“Okay.” He slowly answers. He would like to know what exactly is the whole thing about, but things are as they are.

Dean comes even closer and Cas’ eyes widen in surprise. Dean is usually very protective over what he calls his “personal space”.

“This is it.” Dean thinks.

He also thinks how all this feels natural and good. How Cas smells like rain and burgers and.. Impala? How his eyes are blue, his secret favourite blue, like sky over the desert right after the Sun comes down. He thinks about how many times he fantasised about doing this. He suddenly feels scared and little bit lost, lower part of his stomach hurts, so, before he has time to change his mind, he finally does it.

He presses their lips together.

He planned for it to be just that, lips on lips just for a second, but he can’t help himself.

Cas lips are dry and warm and he wants them for just a little bit more when the impossible happens – Cas kisses him back. His hands leave their usual by the side position and cup Dean’s face.

The whole thing is a bit clumsy, but it only makes it sweet. Cas is forgetting how strong he is and Dean is first bumping into the chair then into the table, but none of them notice it.

Well, Sam does. He’s imitating Cas’ position form a moment ago – standing in the middle of the room frozen, but when Dean almost knocks over the chair his brain starts working again. In no time he’s grabbing his laptop and leaving the room feeling extremely stupid for not noticing this earlier.

**Author's Note:**

> As always - B you're the best :*  
> caution: babbling (omg don't even read this)  
> A few years back I watched this show where in one episode a character thought he might be gay. Only thing he thought could prove it right or wrong was to kiss another dude and see if he would like it. So he kissed his best friend, and let's say didn't pass the test (I lot of “we'll never talk about this again”).But now I have this scene stuck in my head where Dean is realizing how much Cas means to him, and sorry, after that cleaning „Better? Woah boner!“ scene, how he actually turns him on. But he can’t even begin to wrap his mind around  
> “Dude does he even have a gender? He’s a freaking angel! An Angel of the freaking Lord! Who ran away, but maybe for this he will come back and erase me from existence, yeah, cool.”  
> So, especially after the “gay thing” scene (and that scene, I’m so never getting over that), he starts to think he might be gay. But he likes girls. He has been with girls and ask anyone you want, Dean knows he likes them. So maybe he likes both? Maybe “I don’t swing that way” was actually “I don’t swing only that way?”  
> Anyway, this is a little fanfic, not a meta about Dean’s bisexuality. And I wrote it almost half a year ago, hence angel!Cas. I'll stop now, I hope you liked it.


End file.
